Okay, here goes nothing.  First day of blogging and, not gonna lie, I’m freaking out a little bit. First of all, I have a hard time committing to creative projects.  Secondly, this blog is going to serve as an accountability partner for me in my journey to better health and happiness.  So here it goes, the story behind why projectcleanse.com is coming to life.

In the beginning of 2015, after my second pregnancy, having three amalgam fillings replaced and a period of prolonged stress, I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism, more specifically Hashimoto’s thyroiditis.  All of a sudden I was experiencing panic attacks; literally I thought I was dying.  And I was frustrated with my doctors who basically said, “Take these pills (levothyroxine, a thyroid hormone replacement drug) you’ll start feeling better right away.”

But I didn’t start feeling better.  In fact things just seemed to keep getting worse.  I felt as if I couldn’t handle any amount of stress at all.  One day I actually made my husband leave work early because I thought I was going to die, and no one would be there to take care of my children if something happened.  Another night resulted in an ambulance call and trip to the emergency room.

Disclaimer:  Before all of this I was perfectly healthy (or so I thought), had no anxiety, and didn’t even know what a panic attack was.  I felt I was able to cope with most of life’s challenges okay, and handle every day as it came.  So it honestly felt like my life was crumbling down before me once my physical and emotional health started deteriorating so rapidly.

I didn’t feel as though I was getting the answers I needed from my countless visits to the doctor, and my rising medical bills didn’t help.  I thought to myself, “There MUST be something I can do on my own, naturally, to help myself.” So I started reading anything and everything I could on Hashimoto’s, thyroid disease and hypothyroidism.  Thank GOODNESS there were so many great blogs on the topic (Hypothyroid Mom, Deliciously Organic and Thyroid Pharmacist to name a few)  and suddenly I didn’t feel so alone in my struggles.

I did feel overwhelmed, however. I thought to myself, “Now all of a sudden I have to go gluten free or my thyroid is going to attack itself? Does that mean I can’t have (gasp) coffee anymore? And what the heck is bone broth??? “I was so thankful for all of the information I was finding online but thought, “how am I ever going to be able to stick to this?”

The truth is I did try going gluten free.  My symptoms got worse.  My anxiety was though the roof, I was constantly hungry and angry and my neck started swelling.  In hindsight, for myself and my body, going gluten free cold turkey (and not incorporating healthy substitutes in it’s place) was probably the worst thing I could have done.  On paper, eliminating gluten is the first step in stopping the autoimmune attack from Hashimoto’s.  So why was I feeling even worse?

Now, I realize everyone’s struggle with Hashimoto’s is different.  There can be multiple facets to why people don’t feel better, and it really is trial and error to figure out what works best for you.

For me, this blog is going to serve as a reminder of what I’ve incorporated into my life so far to lessen my toxic load and start feeling better.  It will also hold me accountable for trying new things in order to keep on my path of better health.  And in doing this, I hope  my story will resonate with others and let them know they’re not alone.  It doesn’t have to be all or nothing, as long as you keep trying to progress towards your health goals.  Celebrate the little victories, keep track of what works (and what doesn’t!) for you, and just know that it will get better.

This is my projectcleanse. What’s yours?